So I found this site Wish upon a hero!

I have had a bit of stress here lately trying to figure out how we were going to afford to have two households for the next few months, while still feeding everyone, doing birthdays and holidays, car repairs etc.... And believe me everything has been pouring for the last couple of months!! Even with the hard times though, we are extremely blessed.  I have the most amazing 6 children I could have ever asked four.  Before doing foster care, I prayed and said that it would be great if the first kids we brought into our home where the kids we were meant to adopt. And that is exactly what God gave us!! Our family is complete and I am bursting at the seams with love for all these additions to our family and with excitement at what else he has in store for us!!  Some how I feel as if I am not done adding children and hubby thinks we are done??? Who knows, God put on my heart at a young age that I was going to adopt at least one child and look where that ended up??? He will put us and our hearts where we need to be! I am almost 35 years old and seeing where God has led us so far I am really excited to see what else he has planned for our family!  As I am watching our 3 year old catapult off of the reclining chair...lol.  I couldn't imagine our life without our amazing additions to our family all God gave to us for a reason!!

I know in my posts I am a little all over the place but what it boils down to is this is a great site and I hope to grant many wishes in the future!!  If anyone feels in there heart to help a family in need this is a great way to find that family!!

Well there is finally an end in sight..............

After a very long year it looks like we are going to truly be in the adoption phase with our two beautiful little ones!!  The kids and I have had to stay in CA while hubby went on to TX so we could keep the girls but it is totally worth it.  I am excited though we have an amazing new landlord who is willing to let us pay partial rent til we move to TX full time.  So we are going to visit Ron in TX for a month, starting the 7th!! Yeah!! We just couldn't be separated for 3 full months while hubby is stateside if we could help it.  We have 4 kids birthdays coming up, Kylee will be 7, Wyatt's turning 1! , Morgan is turning 15 and Sadie is turning 13.  So many big things including the upcoming holidays we just wanted to still be a whole family because soon enough it will be time to deploy again and that we have no choice about.... it is his job.  Anywhoo, we will be leaving for TX the 7th and staying for almost a month to celebrate b-days and enjoy our new (empty) house!  I am super excited to see my husband, the one nice thing about being stationed at Irwin was at least he was stateside for two solid years!! 
We should all be in TX full time by January, God willing!  Please pray for us things are going to be a bit rough the next 3 months but I have faith that God will see us through it all! 

So my little one....

My 3 year old is about the cutest thing ever!! She says some of the funniest things ever! Every night before she goes to be she wants to know where her moon is at. "oh, there my moon" she says. In the morning "where my moon at?"

Back to Life Back to Reality.... Sort of

So now we are back home and back to reality and I am just not liking the laundry and dirty dishes and having to prepare every meal again. While on vacay, our amazing family spoiled us and we ate out alot and didn't have to make but an occasional lunch or breakfast.... So now it is back to all the mundane things about housework, need to ask God too help me be greatful and not spoiled....LOL

Changes....

Changes have been coming at a massive speed here in the 10 years, not really sure how it happened but my kids are growing up, we've moved and are about to move again, couple of deployments, foster care, adoptions, friends coming and going.  The pace of this life has been pretty intense and I keep waiting for it to slow down.  IT IS NOT SLOWING DOWN!! I am coming to the realization that it is not just us it is this military life we live.  There has been so much positive but part of me feels like we are missing out have this fast pace life, I long to get a ranch out in the country and homeschool with no distractions.  I long to sit outside with my kids and read and play maybe with horses.  With all this technology that we have even sometimes when we are together it doesn't really feel like we are together.  There is always this contstant noise or something going on.  What happened to sitting down and reading a good book?  I want to go unplugged!! I want to leave my house and not have to have my cell phone with me because I can't miss a call.  Being busy isn't always bad but some of our "busyness" is self inflicted.

This is a draft that never got posted.... but I think God knew I needed a break and is helping me slow down a little bit.  Because of the adoptions we are going to be forced to kick back a little for the next few months and take some time to visit hubby in TX.  My only goal for the next 3 months is to organize, school with the kids and family time!!!! (And of course a little visiting with my dear friends that haven't ditched me in this desert!!!)

Whew.... made it home after a month long vacation!!

Alot has happened in our little family in the last 6 months or so.  I came to the realization I can not save every child.  We had a 16 year old in our home for the last year and with her brought a new baby, that we are now adopting.  A decision had to be made for the well being of the ENTIRE family, she had to move on to a new placement.  It was very hard but I now know without a doubt that this was God's plan for us and for her.  I have such an overwhelming sense of peace.  I know people will judge and have already had a social worker give us a hard time but the first duty God gave us is to protect our family.  She is almost grown and knows right from wrong, she made her choices and because of them she could not stay.  Our duty is to protect the 6 younger children in our charge. I can go on and on but what it boils down too is that we have prayed every step of the way and feel good (but still sad) about the choice we made.  People can judge, but that is not my problem I serve only one God. 

I have also realized that all things, including the horrible ones, work together for good for those who love the Lord!!! Alot of damage has been done in our home in the last year and we have alot to work through.  But I can see God working mircles already!  His grace and love is overwhelming and beyond words!

So we went on this long family vacation to IL and IN, our families were amazing and treated us like rock stars!  We are so blessed.  K , A and W all got to meet there new family and were welcomed with open arms!!!  It was amazing to see so many people just wrap them in there love!  We had some drama but were able to finish our vacation and make it home with a scrap of sanity (maybe).  While there I got to meet my sweet little A's bio family and they were amazing and I am so looking forward to maintaining a relationship with them all.  We are not only adopting these 3 amazing kids but we are also adopting a whole gaggle of bio family members!! I will count my blessings that they are all such amazing people!! 

Having 6 children is definately a challenge but the blessings far outwiegh the hardships!! Our family is complete!!  (unless God works on Hubby!!)

I know this post is all over the place but so is our life!!

One less thing is my new motto!!

I have been working with my family and a really close friend on getting my house clean and organized.  I was so overwhelmed that I just couldn't get started. After a solid year of adding 4 kids to our household and yard saling like a crazy women this house is bursting at the seams!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!  So knowing that I was truly about to lose my mind, and was so bummed I could hardly get out of bed I finally reached out to ask for a little bit of help.  Now don't get me wrong I don't have unrealistic expectations, there are 9 people and 3 dogs in this house, so my house is never going to be picture perfect.  I don't want perfection I just want comfort and a place for most everything, I am tired of needing a paper and not being able to find it, or losing important things, not being able to find my camera, the kids never being able to find there stuff..... So the step I took reaching out really gave me a push and that weekend we purged and got alot of stuff done.  Still have a long way to go but hopefully this week we can get the homeschool room and my bedroom done..... Don't even ask about our garage right now, everything we purged we put out there for a future garage sale.  Ugh.... love going to them but hate having them!  (seems like that right there might be a huge part of my problem!!) 

Adoption Home study!!

We have had so many milestones in this foster/ adopt process!!  I know from the bottom of my heart that this is God's plan for our family.  It has been an emotional journey but so worth it.  I have felt him supporting us and guiding us this entire time.  We have started our adoption homestudy and I am so glad, I didn't realize how stressed out I was having that hanging over my head truly was...  Knowing someone is coming into your home that makes a final decision about wheter or not kids you love with all of your heart can remain with you.... Holy cow!!  I have had to keep reminding myself through this whole process that GOD HAS GOT THIS!!  It is not in my control it is in his hands!!  

So we have started the homestudy and the gentlemen that is doing is a person that has already adopted from the system and is amazing.  What a relief!!  I am so glad to be in the final stages of this journey and I am so grateful to God for seeing fit to add such amazing children to complete our family.  It is definately not always easy but nothing that is worthwhile is ever without hardship!!  We still have many steps to finish this journey but at least now we have and end in sight!!

Epiphany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (on so many levels)

I just love PWOC!! I am taking the Divine Surrender class and today was just absolutely amazing and convicting at the same time.  I have misunderstood what it means to submit to my husband for the last 15 years.  We are bombarded with worldly views on what it is to be a wife and it is all straight from satan to undermine the marriage that God wants us to have. I am so amazed at how much I learn from these amazing women.

 Fellowship is definately and important part of walking with the Lord.  I have also learned recently that if God gives me the feeling that a friendship is not one that is he has ordained I am going to run as fast as I can in the other direction.  I got burned really badly by someone that was supposed to be my friend.  I was busy and taking care of my large family and she decided that not only was that not good enough for her that she needed to be ugly and hateful on top of it all.  I was trying to step out gracefully but with some people I guess that isn't good enough.  And for some reason she decided that is was okay to bring my children into her drama and try to attack my kids.  I do not care if people want to sit around talking about me and being hateful but it is another thing to bring my children into it.  Some women never grow up and stop being in middle school.  She knew the only way to hurt me is to hurt my children and that is what she did.  The pyscho couldn't hurt me with her ugliness because for me to care about someones opinion I have to have at least a little bit of respect for them.

So done with Wysteria lane and all the desperate housewives bs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

I can't believe it has been 15 years already!!

A couple of weeks ago was our 15 year anniversary!! It was amazing, we had so much fun.  I got to plan this year and because of all the craziness (and because i procrasinate)  I ended up planning it the night before!!! Everything fell into place at the very last minute and we had a good friend volunteer to stay at our house with all the kids!! Brave people because they have 4 of there own!!  We got to go to the Stratsphere and renew our vows at the top.  It was so fun!! We then rode the Big shot which was super freaky.  We enjoyed our stay at the hotel and gambled a little bit (penny slots...).

It was an amazing wedding anniversary and it was so nice to spend the entire day and night with hubby with no distractions and just focus on each other.

Holy Moly is all I got to say....

Well folks it has been a really long couple of weeks...... Satan really attacked our family and brought us to our knees but we are not out for the count.  We were not putting on our full armor and each one of us in our own way let him in.  With God we are stronger than he can ever be as long as we protect ourselves properly.  Our family is truly wounded by all that has happened but I truly believe God will help us pick up the pieces and be whole again. 

We escaped from reality for a few days and reconnected as a family on our vacation to Disneyland.  We had an amazing time and getting away from this Wonderland that is Fort Irwin was amazing.  We needed the time away and the time together.  Although now I need a vacation to recover from vacation! 

Please pray for the hearts of my children that they can heal and overcome our imperfections and the worlds contstant negitive to grow in God's Love and be the people he intends for them to be.  Please ask him to work on our hearts as parents and his children and help us to be who we are supposed to be in him.  I need WISDOM!!

This is an amazing read!!

Check this out.... She says things better than I ever could have!!
http://itsalmostnaptime.blogspot.com/2010/02/i-dont-want-my-children-to-be-happy.html

Time is flying!!

Wow it is crazy it has almost been a month since I last posted.  Life in this household has been intense.  It never seems to slow down......  With two teenagers and a preteen add a 9 year old who's personality can be larger than life, plus a 6 year old who doesn't think she ever has to listen to anyone plus a two year old who is into everything and sneaky as can be and the cherry on the top is the 4 month old who is a fussy pants alot of the time................. I am about to lose my mind at times!! That is why God made kids so cute, so when you were at the point to lose it they would do something cute to remind you what a precious gift it is to have and raise children!! 

Satan really seems to be attacking me spiritually, I know with all of my heart I need to spend time in his word and in prayer and when I do so I am so much happier and a much better Mommy.... So why is it so hard for me to get into any kind of routine with my bible studies let alone a routine in the rest of my life.  I have been fighting this battle with routines for soooooo long.  I have great ideas but when it comes right down to it, I never stick to it.  I use excuses like the baby kept me up so I am going to sleep in a little bit or anything else I can think of.  He has also been using the distractions of worry, finances, moving etc.... When I know in my heart of hearts that those things while they are important God will always and has always seen to it we have way more than we could ever need! 

My Goal this week is to come up with and stick to some sort of morning routine.... Getting up before my kids to have my time with God and my coffee before the chaos starts!! So unlike what I ususally do which is come up with some complex plan that is overwhelming my goal is only to get up by 7 am and have 30 min with God in the morning!!!!!  I would like to also add getting dressed first thing and being ready for the day.  If I can do that little bit maybe things will start falling more into place and I won't be so overwhelmed daily!!

Please anyone reading this, Please pray for me to overcome this pure laziness in the mornings so I can function better for my family!!!  We could also use some prayers in that we are going to be moving this year and have a house to sell so we can maybe buy a house in TX.  Please pray for my childrens hearts and for God to give me the wisdom in training  and leading them to him.  Please pray for wisdom in the social workers, judges and families in our adoption situations.  Please just pray for us God will know what we need. 

Calendars and Friends......

Wow, I sat down and tried to enter everything into my new and very awesome free online calender (Cozi) and I am so overwhelmed just looking at it. Sometimes I feel I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off!! Awana, PWOC, Girl Scouts X 3 girls, Soccer, Volleyball, independant study and the list goes on. This isn't including doc apts, dentist apts, whining crying babies and making meals, not to mention bill paying, laundry, meals, keeping kids on task and doing there chores, etc,etc........ Sometimes I wonder if I am going to end up committed. I don't always have time to be as attentive as I would like to be to my extended family and friends. In reality somedays I don't even get to take a shower and spend alone time with God. Looking at this Calendar reminded me of just how much I actually have going on and hurts me even more that someone could yell at me telling me how everything is all about me and what a selfish terrible person I am. It is not because I am selfish and self righteous (as someone recently told me), it is because I am barely staying afloat with what I have on my plate. I am forgetful, unorganized, messy and sometimes I am lazy and just want to sit and blog or read in my bathroom. Seems like God could've called someone better to be a mother to these 7 amazing kids but he must think I can do it, only with him holding me up am I going to make it!! True friends would never tear me down and expect me to put them above my ;family and although the lost friendships make me a little sad I do believe it is for the best. Some friendships are for a reason and some are for a season but letting go can still be very sad. I truly have never meant to hurt anyones feelings or make anyone angry so I will put a sorry out there.....into cyberspace.Sighing a big sigh of relief!

New Horizons

Well it looks like our journey may be changing in the not so distant future! Still not something I can discuss on a public blog. Looks as if we are going to be having some permanent positive changes in our future.

I feel so blessed to have had our family grow so much in the last year. Every heart ache and problem was so worth adding 4 new members to our family. Seeing the hearts of my bio girls grow and how readily they gave up time with their mom and dad to accept new sibilings into there home and hearts....... It is so beyond words. All three of my girls are saying they want to foster and adopt when they are grown up. If only we could plant the seeds of love and taking care of the orphans into all young people maybe there won't be so many children in need of loving homes! I don't know where this journey is going to lead us in the future but I know with every ounce of my heart that as long as God is the pilot we can not be steered wrong! Don't get me wrong there are times when things get hard that I ask God are you sure I am strong enough to be everything these kids need. I have the faith that God will hold me and my many children in his hands and never let us down.

It is a very uncomfortable situation when people tell my husband and I that we are such great people for doing what we are doing..... Just and FYI these kids we have brought into our home and hearts will always be more of a blessing to us than we could ever be to them! It is almost a selfish thing because the rewards in our hearts are so much more, how could we not do it? In all honesty we are not giving anything up! Yes, our house is messier with more kids, yes sometimes I feel like I am going to lose my mind, yes sometimes I get impatient and yell, yes sometimes I cry in my bathroom praying with everything I have asking God to give me the wisdom to help heal hurts and scars and have the patience and the eyes to see the misbehaviors for what they are........ It is not perfect, we did not start this because we were perfect parents, we didn't start this because we thought that it would be easy.... We did this because I have known in my heart since I was very young that I wanted to adopt at least one child that had some of the same problems I went through as a child. I know what it is like to feel like a guest in someone else's home, I know what it is like to always have to change to fit into a family, I know what it is like to challenge those that say they love you because everyone has always given up when the going got tough.

Please take the time to pray for our family as we experience the ups and downs that we can be strong in the knowledge that with God all things are possible!

I feel special!

Wow I am super stoked!! I have had 14 people look at my blog. 14 whole real life people care about what I have to say.... I feel so special! I was pretty bummed earlier when my thing said zero! I was thinking nobody likes me everybody hates me I think I'll go eat worms!

Wow it has been awhile.....

Well as I have said our lives never never slow down. We have had new blessings added to our already crazy house. I can't not believe how God has blessed our family in so many ways. In June 2010 we got a call for a pregnant teenage girl , and knowing if we got the call then the child was ours we told them we would pick her up that day. It was scary and with blind faith, with some of these teens out there we just had no idea what we were getting into. I am so glad we listened to our hearts and brought her into our home. She is an amazing addition to our family. C is 16 and like I said was pregnant. Her intent orginially was to keep the baby and with our support raise him herself. On Jan. 1st she made the decision to have us adopt W and we told her that we would. There was alot of talking about possibilities but we had to make sure it was really what she wanted and make sure we were not going to lose her in the process. It has been a couple of weeks since her decision and I think she is doing great and so is W!! Now my life is just a bit more hectic with more diapers and feedings and such but looking at his sweet face it is worth every bit of extra stress and chaos!

So we are now the proud parents of 7 children right now!! God is definately providing for us though. We were able to purchase a 15 passenger van so we could lug the whole army in one vehicle. So here it is a run down on ages C16, M14,S 12, B 9, K 6, A 2, W 3months..... Our lives are moving into a new direction and we are very pleased.... can't share some things on blog. Who knows who could be reading it!!

Now we have to trust that God will guide us in caring for and guiding this vivacious bunch! We are praying for quick desicions and a system that is broken and all the kids we can't take in!! I have been referred to as a kid hoarder!! I would take them all in if I could. I do know that right now my life is full and so are my hands so I will be content with the kids I have. It is still bizarre to think that at this time last year I only had 3 kids!

Hopefully I will keep this updated because our lives are an amazing, chaotic, loving rollercoaster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!