Changes....

Changes have been coming at a massive speed here in the 10 years, not really sure how it happened but my kids are growing up, we've moved and are about to move again, couple of deployments, foster care, adoptions, friends coming and going.  The pace of this life has been pretty intense and I keep waiting for it to slow down.  IT IS NOT SLOWING DOWN!! I am coming to the realization that it is not just us it is this military life we live.  There has been so much positive but part of me feels like we are missing out have this fast pace life, I long to get a ranch out in the country and homeschool with no distractions.  I long to sit outside with my kids and read and play maybe with horses.  With all this technology that we have even sometimes when we are together it doesn't really feel like we are together.  There is always this contstant noise or something going on.  What happened to sitting down and reading a good book?  I want to go unplugged!! I want to leave my house and not have to have my cell phone with me because I can't miss a call.  Being busy isn't always bad but some of our "busyness" is self inflicted.

This is a draft that never got posted.... but I think God knew I needed a break and is helping me slow down a little bit.  Because of the adoptions we are going to be forced to kick back a little for the next few months and take some time to visit hubby in TX.  My only goal for the next 3 months is to organize, school with the kids and family time!!!! (And of course a little visiting with my dear friends that haven't ditched me in this desert!!!)

Whew.... made it home after a month long vacation!!

Alot has happened in our little family in the last 6 months or so.  I came to the realization I can not save every child.  We had a 16 year old in our home for the last year and with her brought a new baby, that we are now adopting.  A decision had to be made for the well being of the ENTIRE family, she had to move on to a new placement.  It was very hard but I now know without a doubt that this was God's plan for us and for her.  I have such an overwhelming sense of peace.  I know people will judge and have already had a social worker give us a hard time but the first duty God gave us is to protect our family.  She is almost grown and knows right from wrong, she made her choices and because of them she could not stay.  Our duty is to protect the 6 younger children in our charge. I can go on and on but what it boils down too is that we have prayed every step of the way and feel good (but still sad) about the choice we made.  People can judge, but that is not my problem I serve only one God. 

I have also realized that all things, including the horrible ones, work together for good for those who love the Lord!!! Alot of damage has been done in our home in the last year and we have alot to work through.  But I can see God working mircles already!  His grace and love is overwhelming and beyond words!

So we went on this long family vacation to IL and IN, our families were amazing and treated us like rock stars!  We are so blessed.  K , A and W all got to meet there new family and were welcomed with open arms!!!  It was amazing to see so many people just wrap them in there love!  We had some drama but were able to finish our vacation and make it home with a scrap of sanity (maybe).  While there I got to meet my sweet little A's bio family and they were amazing and I am so looking forward to maintaining a relationship with them all.  We are not only adopting these 3 amazing kids but we are also adopting a whole gaggle of bio family members!! I will count my blessings that they are all such amazing people!! 

Having 6 children is definately a challenge but the blessings far outwiegh the hardships!! Our family is complete!!  (unless God works on Hubby!!)

I know this post is all over the place but so is our life!!

One less thing is my new motto!!

I have been working with my family and a really close friend on getting my house clean and organized.  I was so overwhelmed that I just couldn't get started. After a solid year of adding 4 kids to our household and yard saling like a crazy women this house is bursting at the seams!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!  So knowing that I was truly about to lose my mind, and was so bummed I could hardly get out of bed I finally reached out to ask for a little bit of help.  Now don't get me wrong I don't have unrealistic expectations, there are 9 people and 3 dogs in this house, so my house is never going to be picture perfect.  I don't want perfection I just want comfort and a place for most everything, I am tired of needing a paper and not being able to find it, or losing important things, not being able to find my camera, the kids never being able to find there stuff..... So the step I took reaching out really gave me a push and that weekend we purged and got alot of stuff done.  Still have a long way to go but hopefully this week we can get the homeschool room and my bedroom done..... Don't even ask about our garage right now, everything we purged we put out there for a future garage sale.  Ugh.... love going to them but hate having them!  (seems like that right there might be a huge part of my problem!!) 

Adoption Home study!!

We have had so many milestones in this foster/ adopt process!!  I know from the bottom of my heart that this is God's plan for our family.  It has been an emotional journey but so worth it.  I have felt him supporting us and guiding us this entire time.  We have started our adoption homestudy and I am so glad, I didn't realize how stressed out I was having that hanging over my head truly was...  Knowing someone is coming into your home that makes a final decision about wheter or not kids you love with all of your heart can remain with you.... Holy cow!!  I have had to keep reminding myself through this whole process that GOD HAS GOT THIS!!  It is not in my control it is in his hands!!  

So we have started the homestudy and the gentlemen that is doing is a person that has already adopted from the system and is amazing.  What a relief!!  I am so glad to be in the final stages of this journey and I am so grateful to God for seeing fit to add such amazing children to complete our family.  It is definately not always easy but nothing that is worthwhile is ever without hardship!!  We still have many steps to finish this journey but at least now we have and end in sight!!

Epiphany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (on so many levels)

I just love PWOC!! I am taking the Divine Surrender class and today was just absolutely amazing and convicting at the same time.  I have misunderstood what it means to submit to my husband for the last 15 years.  We are bombarded with worldly views on what it is to be a wife and it is all straight from satan to undermine the marriage that God wants us to have. I am so amazed at how much I learn from these amazing women.

 Fellowship is definately and important part of walking with the Lord.  I have also learned recently that if God gives me the feeling that a friendship is not one that is he has ordained I am going to run as fast as I can in the other direction.  I got burned really badly by someone that was supposed to be my friend.  I was busy and taking care of my large family and she decided that not only was that not good enough for her that she needed to be ugly and hateful on top of it all.  I was trying to step out gracefully but with some people I guess that isn't good enough.  And for some reason she decided that is was okay to bring my children into her drama and try to attack my kids.  I do not care if people want to sit around talking about me and being hateful but it is another thing to bring my children into it.  Some women never grow up and stop being in middle school.  She knew the only way to hurt me is to hurt my children and that is what she did.  The pyscho couldn't hurt me with her ugliness because for me to care about someones opinion I have to have at least a little bit of respect for them.

So done with Wysteria lane and all the desperate housewives bs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

I can't believe it has been 15 years already!!

A couple of weeks ago was our 15 year anniversary!! It was amazing, we had so much fun.  I got to plan this year and because of all the craziness (and because i procrasinate)  I ended up planning it the night before!!! Everything fell into place at the very last minute and we had a good friend volunteer to stay at our house with all the kids!! Brave people because they have 4 of there own!!  We got to go to the Stratsphere and renew our vows at the top.  It was so fun!! We then rode the Big shot which was super freaky.  We enjoyed our stay at the hotel and gambled a little bit (penny slots...).

It was an amazing wedding anniversary and it was so nice to spend the entire day and night with hubby with no distractions and just focus on each other.

Holy Moly is all I got to say....

Well folks it has been a really long couple of weeks...... Satan really attacked our family and brought us to our knees but we are not out for the count.  We were not putting on our full armor and each one of us in our own way let him in.  With God we are stronger than he can ever be as long as we protect ourselves properly.  Our family is truly wounded by all that has happened but I truly believe God will help us pick up the pieces and be whole again. 

We escaped from reality for a few days and reconnected as a family on our vacation to Disneyland.  We had an amazing time and getting away from this Wonderland that is Fort Irwin was amazing.  We needed the time away and the time together.  Although now I need a vacation to recover from vacation! 

Please pray for the hearts of my children that they can heal and overcome our imperfections and the worlds contstant negitive to grow in God's Love and be the people he intends for them to be.  Please ask him to work on our hearts as parents and his children and help us to be who we are supposed to be in him.  I need WISDOM!!